you are what you eat.

This is going to be a day to day report of the entire month of april 2017,
the month that I got to know a home-mate more intimately than I ever thougth would be possible.

Always felt that having intimate relations with guys living at my own home was the pinnacle of a bad idea
and for over 30 years I have indeed persevered in not crossing that line:
Sure we've had intimate photoshoots, an the like, but that always had a sort of professional, theatical
or activist goal, and it never indeed got to a point that it affected my deeper inner feelings.
That is now indeed changing somewhat with Jos.

I've taken great care to make sure that this is not really just my idea,
but indeed more, or just as much, his own choice.
Already from the early days when he moved in here as tennant, he open-heartedly told me he was into scat.
I did not do any solliciting, or pressuring, so I was really glad he volunteered to act as curious reader
for the teaser video I made last year to promote the Martin of Holland Brown Book.
He also did come to the presentation at Club chUrch in may
. But I kept it at that,
as he, by then had started a quite serious love affair, that I did not want to impose on.
That proved quite difficult, as his lover also had a scat kink, and there were days, eh nights,
when they both were here, when the smell of their play percolated and wafted up to my bedroom,
and got me horny as hell.

I think somewhere in that process, his candour and improvidence overtook me,
and I got that what-the-hack sentiment,
telling my inner ear that rules are there to be overwritten or overstepped,
which mostly is quite a bad reason to get involved in anything,
but he made me feel good about it,
And after a quite troubled year,
where I tried to get him to study more seriously and pay his rent on time,
he appearantly still did feel the same about me.
Most likely helped by my change of approach:

Realising he had quite some autistic tendencies, and was overburdened with guilt and insecurities,
what made him prown to many of these days youths' mothers-little-helpers,
like endulging in games, chems, isolation.
I understood that anger and counter measures would only have an adverse effect.
I sure as hell did not want to lose him or throw him out, so I read up on what could be done.
I'm very much aware that this is a bumpy road, but one I am for now determined to follow through.
Not that I want to get into any sort of posessive affair with him,
but being an experienced landlord of a homo student house for over 3 decades,
I do think I know what I'm getting myself into,
and help him past the hurdles of his final student year
while steering clear of most risks that come with being too fond of a guy.

My goal is now set on making his living here
a safe and secure experience, in the warmest and most trustworthy environment possible,
and provide him at least this year as his most relaxed, reassuring and productive,
not to say hot as hell as well as productive and healthy experience sofar.
We'll see; lets take one step at a time.

as this is a month long daily series, you can click here for tomorrow
don't hesitate to suck it to me with questions or suggestions / submissions.
back to the calendar